


Can We Get Some Hearts in the Chat for Love?

by c_curculio



Series: Like With Cats [2]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Autistic Benrey (Half-Life), Autistic Tommy Coolatta, Established Relationship, M/M, Nonbinary Character, he/himrey & they/themrey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24515095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c_curculio/pseuds/c_curculio
Summary: Benrey really, really,reallywants to marry Gordon Freeman. Unfortunately he has no idea how that works, so he has to get a little bit of outside help.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Series: Like With Cats [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771588
Comments: 131
Kudos: 495





	1. emergency phone call

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of one of my other fics, [Like With Cats](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24172354/chapters/58215874). I recommend reading that one first if you haven't already! 
> 
> Credit for the title goes to The Evil Queen Holly! It was something she said during Part 3 of Wayne's Chulip stream and I have not been able to get it out of my head since then. Holly if you're reading this you're pretty cash money
> 
> Ily all, stay safe, BLM <3 <3 <3

The sound of Coomer’s ringtone woke Bubby up. Grumbling, he sat up in bed, and attempted to shake his husband awake. “Wake up and answer your phone, Harold!” When that yielded no results, he slid out of bed, tugging all the blankets off along with Dr. Coomer, who was hugging most of them to his chest. The tumble to the floor seemed to do the trick, as Coomer sprang to his feet and aimed a powerful kick at Bubby, who just barely managed to dodge the attack. 

“Hello, Bubby!” Somehow, he sounded both cheerful and groggy at the same time. “It’s 2:35 am.” Coomer bent his knees, stance wide as if he was going to attack again. 

“Answer your damn phone, Harold!” Bubby let their blankets drop to the floor, crossing his arms. “Your ridiculous ringtone woke me up.”

Coomer relaxed, picking up his cell phone. He answered the call and set it to speakerphone. “Benrey, I told you, I’m not going to the Flat Earth Convention-” 

“Whuuuh huh. Whatever. I need- I need your help. I’m on Feetman’s roof right now.” He was barely understandable; it sounded like they were holding the phone as close to their mouth as possible. Which was exactly what he was doing. 

“I’m not going to come and get you,” Bubby said firmly, and flopped face-down onto the mattress. His legs hung off of the side. 

“No, that’s not- I- I wanna,” he hesitated for a few seconds, “marry Failman.” He paused. “Dunno how, though.” 

Coomer sat on the bed next to Bubby. “There’s actually a very complicated process for that!” Setting his phone down on Bubby’s back, oomer got comfortable, leaning into the massive pile of pillows on their bed. “According to WIkipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, an engagement or betrothal is a relationship between two people who want to get married, and also the period of time between-” 

“Yeah, but,” Benrey interrupted, “How do I do that? Do I just… Tell him? He’s… dumb. He isn’t gonna know.” 

“I don’t know. Coomer and I just said fuck it and then got married.” Bubby lifted his face from off of the mattress. “You should do that too! It’s quite easy.” 

“We’ve been married for three years!” Said Coomer, proudly. 

“Isn’t there Wikipedia that helps you? It helps you do stuff?” There was a noise of sharp static on the phone, as if Benrey had sneezed into the receiver.

“We’ve been married for fifty years!” 

Bubby planted his face back into the bed. “No, we haven't,” he said, probably (it was pretty muffled). 

“What is… what… the helping Wikipedia? Uh. Wikitell. Wikishit. Wikifeet?” 

“I don’t know, but typically, engagements are a surprise! I promise that Bubby and I won't tell a soul.” 

“I’m going to tell him,” Said Bubby, still speaking directly into the mattress. 

“Shut up. Shut your hell. I’m gonna- Oh, fuck. Wikihow, hoooooly shit.” Benrey promptly hung up on them.

Coomer smiled, retrieving his phone from Bubby’s back and plugging it back onto the charger. “Isn’t young love wonderful?” Standing, he gathered the blankets from up off the floor, and began to re-make their bed, covering Bubby up as he did. 

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been a day under sixty-two.” Bubby didn’t move from his position, even when Coomer crawled back into bed and draped his legs over him.


	2. breaking & entering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey finds a ring, but he has no idea what Gordon's ring size is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I've been doing today is watching GeePM stream RLCraft :pensive: our AC system is fucked so I've been consuming frozen mixed berries in mass quantities <3

_3 Ways to Get Married_

Benrey sat on the living room floor. His laptop was precariously balanced on the edge of the coffee table, and Joshua sat in his lap with the Switch. Gordon had left less than a minute ago to buy groceries, and they had leapt onto the opportunity like a raccoon into a trashcan. They clicked on the Wikihow link, scanning the article. 

“Whatcha reading?” Joshua asked, craning his neck to get a better view of the screen. “Is it pro gamer stuff?” 

“Hey. Hey, little dude. Can you keep a secret?” Benrey glanced down at him, unable to keep the grin off their face. 

“Yeah!” His interest piqued, Joshua stood suddenly, almost slamming his head into Benrey’s jaw. 

Scooting back to give Joshua more room to stand, he leaned against the edge of the couch. “I’m gonna get your dad a present. I’m gonna- gonna get him the most kickass ring. It’s gonna be so cool, man.” Peering around him, Benrey opened up a new tab and quickly typed ‘gamer engagement rings’ into the search bar. “I wanna- I’m gonna get him something epic.” 

They had barely scrolled down before his gaze was drawn to a simple wooden ring. It was a rainbow band made of strips of dyed wood encased in resin. The provided link took them to a website called “woodenrings.com.” Excitedly, he read the provided information. The ring had an option for a special protective coating, and all of the reviews were positive, but- 

Benrey frowned at the customization options. “Hey man. Do you know what your dad’s ring size is?” 

“Big!” Josh responded happily. “He has really big hands!” 

He really, really didn’t want to mess this one up. Benrey bookmarked the page for later, along with the Wikihow article, and closed the laptop without shutting it down. “Hey man, wanna- wanna troll some noobs on Roblox?” He suggested. They needed some more help if they wanted to pull this off, but they had to wait until their boyfriend was back. 

After Gordon had returned from the store, Benrey left. He walked slowly, mind racing as he tried to think of ways to avoid asking for help again. They could measure Gordon's fingers, maybe? But he was a really light sleeper... Or, they could try and find any rings he already owned, but Gordon wasn’t much of a jewelry person… He did previously have a ring he'd gotten from work, but it had been… lost during the Resonance Cascade. In theory, they could make an estimate to his ring size, but they were shit at guessing measurements. 

Having reached his destination, he stopped in front of a large blue house. The front yard was neatly trimmed, and a flower garden closely bordered the front porch, irises and hydrangeas blooming furiously. Benrey walked up the front steps; instead of knocking, he traveled left. Quickly, he pried open one of the windows. They crawled in and fell to the floor. 

Tommy sat on the floor several feet away, surrounded by boxes of Beyblades. He held a catalogue in one hand, and a Sharpie in the other; when Benrey entered, he looked up, face brightening. “Hi Benrey! You’re- you’re just in time, my dad is making brunch.” 

They stood, brushing themself off. “Gaaaamer. Uh. I need... help.” Crossing over to the couch, they squatted on the arm rest. Tommy’s house always smelled faintly and pleasantly of citrus; today it smelled like grapefruit.

“I’m always willing to help! What- what do you need help with?” Tommy stood, capping the sharpie and tucking it behind his ear, Beyblades abandoned for the moment. 

Benrey was silent for a moment before speaking. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna marry Gordos. I wanna propose but I- there are ring sizes and stuff. I dunno what size his hands are.” 

Tommy’s face lit up. “Oh, that’s gonna- that’s very easy. Do you remember? Back- back in Black Mesa, I was in Human Resources, and I made sure everyone got a commemorative ring when they started working- do you remember that?” 

“So what- what’s his, uhh. What’s his ring size?” Benrey asked, reaching back to tug down his ponytail. Running their fingers through their hair seemed to calm their nerves. 

“He is a Men’s US 11,” Tommy said proudly. “I can- I can send you a fax if you can’t remember it.” 

“Fax machine broke. Uhh, play any- play any Minecraft lately?” He heard footsteps, and moments later, Gman appeared in the doorway, a bright yellow apron covering the front of his suit. 

“Oh, hello Missster… Benrey. If you don’t, mind, I’ve prepared brunch for… my son and I. You are, more than welcome to… join us.”


	3. bedtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey and Gordon have a short conversation right before bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gays? cuddling? more likely than you think!!

Benrey crawled into bed, immediately draping themself over their boyfriend. “Feetman. How was- things? Have any cringe moments?” They let their head rest on his bare chest, flushing slightly when Gordon's warm, strong arms wrapped around them. 

“Today was alright.” He kissed the top of Benrey’s head. “... Hey, so, uh, I’ve been thinking and I… I think we should move. We should get, like, an actual house- I don't wanna live in this shitty apartment,” he said. “I- what do you think?” He seemed oddly hesitant to ask.

Benrey closed their eyes, thinking it over for a bit before speaking. “Brooooo that would be siiiiiiiiick. I- we gotta have a gamer room, dude, so we can- we can do streams on Twitch.” 

“Hell yeah, man. And we… We’ll have a bigger kitchen, and a bigger living room, and we’ll have a backyard for Joshie to play in… Should we get a garden? I dunno- I dunno a lot about plants, but a garden would be nice…” As Gordon rambled, he began running his fingers through Benrey’s hair. 

Benrey melted at his touch. “Do you- would we be, uh. You already, uh, have a place in mind?” he asked. 

“No, I, uh. I was hoping that… that you would help pick it out?” Gordon flushed. “I mean, we’re- we’ve been, uh, together for a while, and I- I, uh, I want you to be happy with the house too. We have to keep it a secret from Josh for right now, but-” 

“When we- when we gonna… start looking?” Benrey tugged the blankets up over their shoulder, shifting slightly. 

“I was think we could start looking online tomorrow. If we find one we both like, we can- I’ll call the real estate company and we get a better look whenever they’ve got an opening.” Gordon’s expression softened as he gazed down at Benrey. “I wanna get a nice one. One that Joshie can grow up in.” 

“Can we get some pogs in the chat…?” 

“I love you,” Gordon said. “You know that, right?” 

In response, Benrey propped themself up on their elbow so they could lightly kiss their boyfriend. “Mhm.” His long hair fell into his face. 

Gordon reached up, cradling Benrey’s cheek with his good hand; as he brushed the hair away from his partner’s eyes, he chuckled. “You’re fucking gay.”

“Fail moments, bro. You’re… uh, homosexual… stank man.” Benrey kissed him again before laying back down on him. “Oh, Uh, I. I ordered something. Don’t open my package, bro.” 

“Can I guess what it is?” 

“No. Shut up.” Benrey stuck their tongue out at him. “Turn off the light so I can sleep.” 

Reaching over, Gordon turned off the lamp by their bed, plunging the room into darkness. Benrey heard the sound of his glasses being pulled off and folded, then placed on the nightstand by their bed. 

“... I love you too, man,” Benrey mumbled quietly, and Gordon hugged him just a little bit tighter.


	4. GAY RIGHTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joshua and Benrey throw Gordon a very special surprise party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS ONE IS LONG PLS BEAR WITH ME HERE... ITS WORTH IT I PROMISE

The door to their shared apartment opening, and Joshua yelling out in delight, signaled Gordon’s return from work. Poking his head into the tiny kitchen, he said, "Hey Benrey, I'm- what- what are you doing?” His eyes widened at the sight of his partner- and the kitchen- covered in flour, a piping bag clutched in his hands. On top of the stove was a cake, halfway covered in orange whipped frosting. 

“Uh. Nothing. You didn’t see shit. Uh, you smeeeeeell. You should go take a- a shower.” Benrey stepped in front of the cake, hiding the piping bag behind their back. “Scrubby scrubby time.” 

"... I- Okay." He seemed a tad bit concerned, but he complied. 

When he heard the shower start running, he turned back to the task at hand. Today was the big day- he was gonna do it. They were gonna ask Gordon to marry them. Benrey’s mind raced as they worked to finish the cake in time. “Hey- hey, fetus,” they called into the living room, “You should- you should get everything set up for the surprise party.” 

The surprise party had been Joshua’s idea. After Gordon left for work that morning, the two of them had made a grocery run to get party hats, balloons, his favorite wine (elderberry), his favorite food (dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets), his favorite candy (those weird nameless strawberry hard candies that came in the green metallic wrapper). Neither of them were sure what his favorite cake was, so they went with Joshua’s favorite (chocolate with chocolate chips). 

When Gordon stepped back into the living room half an hour later, he couldn't help but grin. Glowing balloons full of Sweet Voice were strewn around the room haphazardly; Joshua was in the process of placing mass quantities of party hats on every available flat surface, except for the coffee table, which had one of his fleece Paw Patrol blankets thrown over it like a tablecloth. 

“What- it’’s not any of our birthdays, why are we having a party?” Gordon placed his hands on his hips. 

Joshua looked up, giggling. “Benman has a present for you!” Bouncing, he ran over, hugging his father’s leg tightly. 

“A present?” Bending down, he pried Joshua off of his leg, lifting him into his arms and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “What kind of present, exactly?” 

“Shhh, no spoilers. We gotta- I made dinner, sit down,” Benrey said from the kitchen. 

Gordon sat down at the coffee table, crossing his legs and setting Joshua into his lap. Benrey emerged from the kitchen a moment later, balancing three plates in their arms. “Made- made nungets, bitch.” He carefully set the plates down. "Chinken." Heading back to the kitchen, they returned this time with three plastic champagne flutes in one hand, the bottle of wine tucked under his arm, and a can of grape soda. 

He carefully set the glasses down, then the wine; as Gordon watched, Benrey opened the soda, pouring it into one of the glasses. He handed this to Joshua. 

“You- was this the present? You made me chicken nuggets?” He watched as Benrey used his teeth to pull the cork out of the wine bottle. 

"Uh, no way, bro.” They paused to remove the cork from their mouth. “No. You gotta- you gotta wait for that.” 

They all chatted happily as they ate, discussing how things had gone at home, Gordon’s day at work, the possibility of buying yet another Gameboy for Benrey’s collection. Joshua finished eating first, shoving the final two dinosaur-shaped nuggets into his mouth at the same time. “Cmmmph!” He announced confidently. 

“Josh, don’t talk with food in your mouth!” Gordon scolded him gently. They sat in polite silence for several minutes as Joshua struggled to chew his food; finally, he leaned over, spitting the half-chewed chicken nuggets back onto his plate. “Caaaaaaaaake!” 

“Huh? Whuh? What’s cake,” Benrey said, deadpan. 

“Josh, that’s disgusting- Oh, come on. I saw you frosting a cake when I got home!” Gordon turned to Benrey. "You were using this- this bright orange frosting, and-" 

“Fine. Can’t believe I’m being cyberbullied like this.” Standing, Benrey made his way into the kitchen, emerging with the slightly hideous orange cake a few moments later. “Gay. Gaydon. You gotta- you gotta close your eyes.” 

Joshua twisted around awkwardly in Gordon's lap, reaching up to cover his dad's eyes. “They’re closed!” He yelled excitedly. “Present time, present time, present time!” 

He heard the sound of the plate being gently placed in front of him. “Ok, will y- you can... open your eyes, bro,” Said Benrey. Gordon gently pulled Joshua’s hands away, and gasped, staring at the cake. 

“MARRY ME BRO,” the cake read, in sloppy blue icing. In the middle of the cake, Benrey had placed the ring into the icing. 

“Holy shit,” Gordon said finally. “Benrey, holy shit, hang on a second-” Carefully removing Joshie from his lap, Gordon then scrambled to his feet and darted towards their bedroom.

“Does he like it?” Joshua asked, and Benrey didn’t answer. He was anxiously staring at the hallway his boyfriend had disappeared into. They didn't have to wait long; Gordon reappeared moments later, holding a small box in his hand. 

“Benrey, Benrey-” he knelt, practically shoving the box into his hands. “Just- just open it, dude-” He laughed, placing his hands on his partner's shoulders

They opened the small velvet box.

Inside was a simple silver ring. The top had been fashioned into a plus-sign shape, with four buttons on it that matched those on a Playstation controller. He stared at it for a moment before lifting his gaze to his boyfriend’s face. 

Gordon cupped their face with both hands. “You- Benrey, will you- will you marry me?” He asked earnestly. 

It took Benrey a moment to process the question. “You- you put it on,” they said finally, holding out their left hand. 

Taking the box from him, Gordon tenderly took his hand, sliding the ring onto his ring finger carefully. “Does it fit okay?” He asked. After a moment of examining the ring, Benrey nodded, and Gordon pulled his future spouse into a tight hug that Benrey gladly returned with just as much enthusiasm. 

"Does- do I- am I gonna be Feetman? Or you- or- Gordon Boper. Gordon Boper _Stong_. What- what about the little man? Is he gonna have to change his name?" He rambled, his face red. "Bro, are we gonna have to share the PlayStation now? I'm not- I'm not gonna let you use my PSN account." 

“Whatever, man,” Gordon buried his face into their shoulder to hide his watering eyes. “This is pretty cringe, huh?” 

He ignored Gordon’s statement. “Dude, you- do you like the ring I got you?” 

Sniffling, Gordon reached over, plucking the wooden ring from the icing. “Why- why’d you put it on the cake?” He asked. Lifting the ring to his mouth, he began to lick off the icing. 

“Don’t- don’t eat it.” Benrey poked his nose. "Himbo. Hiiiiimbo." 

Gordon wiped the now icing-free ring on his pants a few times before slipping it onto his hand. He tilted his hand this way, then that, watching the light reflect off the rainbow colors. “Do you… is it good?” Benrey asked softly, tightening his grip on Gordon subconsciously. 

“I fuckin’ love it. I love you,” Said Gordon, and he pulled Benrey in for a kiss. 

“Stop being gross! You- you guys are gonna get MARRIED!?” Joshua yelled, incredulous. “Who’s gonna wear the dress!?” 

Reluctantly, they pulled away from the kiss. “Look- I- I’m gonna wear the dress," They informed Joshua. "I’m gonna make it GAMER.” Raucous laughter escaped his mouth, and he reached out to ruffle his hair. 

“But I wanted to wear the dress!” Joshua pouted, crossing his arms. 

“Fuck it. Let’s all wear a dress,” Gordon suggested, pulling his son into the hug. "Matching- matching gamer dresses, why the fuck not." Benrey wrapped an arm around Joshua; as they held their two favorite people in the whole world, they couldn't help but to open their mouth and sing, soft pink bubbles of light surrounding them as if the Sweet Voice was hugging them, too.


End file.
